Sorry Jeff, just realized my long game wasn’t obvious here - @Wiz.Wazeer had shared his “bury long link inside rich text component” method in a few different posts and this is the one that has better context for what I’m trying to do.
I have handmade (
) VCFs for all my contacts and uploaded them via Glide onto every details screen. Along with an “Add To Contacts” button (which just links to the VCF and loads it straight up) I have a “Share This Contact” button which is attached to the action “Show sharing options” with data being set to the VCF link. Since Glide renames all uploaded files this share action results in a bunch of shady-looking jibberish being shared - see my phone screenshot above your reply.
I thought the rich text component method was a possible solution to this problem, but now I’m unsure of that? I was able to build a rich text component that holds the link per your instructions:
And thank you because that’s SO COOL all on its own - but I’m not seeing how to apply it to my previously-not-clear problem. First off, I can’t attach this rich text component to my share button (right?) and secondly, if I directly attach the template column to my share button it STILL displays the shady looking gibberish when I click to share. Seems like no matter how I mask the gibberish the act of sharing cuts down to the actual file name 
I tried as a solution hosting the VCFs on Google Drive, Dropbox, and iCloud but none of those services load the file correctly as a contact card like Glide does. (They all load it into their proprietary windows and not as a raw file) Seems like my only solution is finding a “real” web host…?