- Jeff has unlimited rows in his Glide Apps, because Jeff knows no bounds.
- Jeff sometimes has problems with if-then-else “is equal to”, because Jeff has no equal.
- Jeff’s apps don’t run slowly, because they know how to hurry the hell up.
- Jeff can solve the Tower of Hanoi puzzle with one column.
- Glide’s “My Teams” are not your teams, they’re Jeff’s. He just lets you use them.
- Customers never ask Jeff for estimations. Ever.
- Jeff’s beard can build an app in 7.3 minutes.
- “It works for me” is always true when Jeff says it.
- Jeff doesn’t refer to the Glide library, the Glide library refers to Jeff.
- Jeff’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key, as nothing controls Jeff.
- Jeff can divide by zero.
- Jeff doesn’t debug his apps, he just stares them down and they capitulate.
- Jeff knows the last digit of PI.
- When Jeff writes code, his functions can not and do not have arguments.
- Jeff doesn’t delete columns, he blows them away.
- Jeff can read all encrypted data, because nothing can hide from Jeff.
- Jeff’s keyboard has an “Any” key.
- Jeff does not use filters. He speaks what he needs and the required data steps forward.
Feel free to add any that I missed 
Help me, Jeff!
