You may want to consider custom forms. This will allow you to build relations to check for existing contacts. Then you can set up a custom action to add a new contact row only if the relation is empty.
You could also try this with a native form that has an Add Row action in the On Submit action. I’ve heard that relations partially work in a native form, as far as checking if they are empty or not, but I’ve never tried it myself. I’ve been using custom forms more often lately.